Letting go is one of the most powerful self-development skills you'll ever learn.
It'll grant you the super-human ability to let go of troublesome emotions at will, enabling you to control your fear, anger, pride and ego - all in one fell swoop.
Now, we all experience emotions every single day.
Emotions are what make us human. And more often than not, they help us. Evolution has selected our basic range of emotions to be the best for our survival.
We experience grief after death. We experience fear when confronted with danger. We experience anger when we're rubbed up the wrong way. These are essential to living.
But sometimes emotions run riot.
They go wild, and lead us into doing things we don't really want to do.
Emotions cause us to fear public speaking, our words drying up and our bodies freezing in terror the moment we stand on that platform. Emotions cause us to continue ignoring once good friends, because we're still angry at what happened, and can't reach forgiveness. Emotions keep us yearning for our addictions to things such as bad relationships or gambling.
So, emotions aren't always good for us. Logically, they don't make sense.
But here's something to remember:
You are not your emotions!
This is a core mistake almost everyone makes. You experience your emotions, yes. But you are not your emotions. They're just "feelings" passing through. They're not you.
Right? Think about it. You are not your emotions.
And that's not all.
Because emotions are not you, you can actually "let go" of unwanted emotions - on demand. You can switch off fear and anger, as easily as you'd switch off a light.
Almost every type of therapy out there has the ultimate goal of helping you to let go of your unwanted emotions.
From psychotherapy to tribal screaming therapy, the ultimate goal is the same. To help you let go of the emotions you don't want. To release, to let go of your attachments. To say "F**k it!" and move on.
But these types of therapy can be a little long-winded. Letting go of emotions directly is really the quickest, easiest and most straight-forward personal growth technique.
So, how can you let go of your unwanted emotions?
Well, it can really be as simple as asking yourself the question: "Can I let this go?"
Remember, you are not your emotions. Right now, you're tightly holding onto your emotions without even realizing it. You have a tight clench around anger with that annoying person. You have what Buddhists would call an attachment to fear when it comes to public speaking.
You are actually the one holding on to the emotion. You're in control, and you don't even realize it.
So, make a decision to let go of it. To loosen the clench. To release.
Imagine holding onto a small ball, with a really firm grip. So firm in fact, that it's actually hurting you to hold it. But you keep on squeezing it tight. You almost don't realize that you can let go.
That's how most of us treat emotions. We don't realize that we can simply let go of the grip... and let the ball fall away.
That's what letting go, or "releasing," is all about.
So, bring to the front of your mind any situation which may have an emotional charge for you right now. A particular person, a frustrating situation, a "mini" addiction. Whatever that may be, and wherever you are at the moment. No need to relax, particularly.
Then, remembering what we've said about emotions, ask yourself: "Can I let this go?"
Answer "Yes" or "No" out loud. It doesn't matter which you answer, just say the first and most natural thing that comes to mind. Both responses are good.
Then, if you can, feel yourself unclench the emotion. Allow the tension to be released, and the emotion to roll away if needed. You may wish to breathe out while doing this, or imagine a door in your abdomen opening up. Really feel it release.
The process should feel something like when the doctor calls to let you know those worrying tests have come back all clear: a release of tension and anxiety.
If you find yourself resisting, ask yourself: "Can I let this go - just for this moment? Just for now? Just for fun? And just because it's a smart thing to do?"
Again, feel yourself unclenching. Then check how you're feeling. Emotions are like onions: they're layered, and removing one sometimes unveils another. If there's still some charge there, repeat the questioning until you're clear of resistance, or feel like stopping.
This, quite simply, is the basic releasing process.
If you find resistance coming up when you're asking "Can I let this go?" ... whether that resistance is anger, fear, lust, greed, passion ... then ask yourself: "Can I hold onto this for a little longer?"
If the answer is yes, ask yourself a few more times: "And a little longer still?"
Then either give yourself permission to hold onto it for a little longer. Or, if you decide you've held onto that "bad" emotion for long enough - then just let it go.
Try it out for yourself. Ask "Can I let this go?" with all of your issues and negative emotions.
And you may as well do it now.
You can let go of emotions at any time - even while mid-conversation in a busy restaurant. No special meditation positions or relaxation CDs required.
Also, it's worth noting that this is only a very brief introduction to letting go. As this is such an important topic, I've covered it much more comprehensively - alongside a number of other releasing techniques - inside my book, "The Secret Art of Self-Development." (ISBN 0955993504.)
Master this powerful skill for yourself - and you'll suddenly begin enjoying much more happiness, freedom and emotional control in your life.
Letting go is a true self-development miracle, the real secret behind almost every therapy out there.
And now you hold the key to unlocking its magic.
Labels: inspiration, self-development
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